Don't Let Me Get Me...

If you've been reading me for a while now you'll know that I've been trying to change my junk food eating ways in a bid to lose weight and improve my confidence. When I first started I was super motivated and really hopeful of what it could mean for me to finally battle my comfort eating demons and ultimately get over all the emotional crap that makes me reach for food and break that habit for good.

Now that's all well and good at the beginning BUT 16 weeks in and I'm floundering. I've become complacent and honestly it sucks and I'm really disappointed with myself. Instead of thinking about the long term benefits of losing weight and feeling better about myself I'm thinking 'F**k it' and eating stuff I know I shouldn't. Like pringles and also cookies. 

I guess it's easier for me to attack myself for the things I do wrong then celebrate the things I've done right. Since I started I have lost the best part of 1 & 1/2 stone (21 pounds for any American readers) and that's awesome. It is. What isn't awesome is the 2 pounds I've put on in the past two weeks. It seems like such a small number but what a massive impact it's had on my state of mind. 

I mean you can see in my before and after pictures how well I've done but I've still got such a long way to go and at the moment I feel like I've hit a brick wall and completely lost my motivation. It's really important that I get that back.

Pink once sang 'Don't let me get me!' In my angsty pre-teen years that song was my jam! Well that and sk8er boi... Anyway my point was I am constantly fighting myself and it's not just my weight I'm fighting against either. It's everything; it's my eating habits, my skin, my hair, my clumsiness, my personality... I am at war with myself! Constantly! And like all wars it's exhausting and pointless and I'm sick of it.  So I'm going to try really hard this week to get my mojo back, because I so want this to work for me. I'll let you know how I get on.

Sorry guys! I know this post has been a bit on the moany side. I hope you don't mind, I did say when I first started this - for lack of a better word - 'journey' that I would be completely honest with you guys and yeah sometimes it's really, really f**king hard to make myself eat carrots instead of chocolate, but I just need to keep the bigger picture in mind so that I step away from the jaffa cakes and regain some self control.

How do you guys get your motivation back? Please let me know, because I am dying for some inspiration/encouragement, get in touch on twitter, by commenting below or dropping me an email at lolarocknroses@gmail.com. Also check out my instagram, facebook, bloglovin', snapchat - search lolarocknroses - and pinterest for regular updates.

Love love love xxx