New Year, New Me? No thanks

Hello! And welcome to my first post of 2019. How are you? It's been a while! I hope everyone had a lovely festive time and are ready to take this year by the horns and make some magic happen. I know I am.

With that in mind let’s talk New Year’s Resolutions. For as long as I can remember I've always had a laundry list of New Year’s Resolutions. One year I had 19! You read that right. 19! No one needs to improve themselves that much! And every year I have been doomed to fail. Because I’ve set myself up to fail. Some repeat offenders - including exercise more, be nicer, don't swear etc. - go way way back and I've never achieved them because I'm a very all or nothing kind of person and I don't do these things in a sustainable way. Case in point: does anyone remember when I was going to the gym twice a day everyday? Let's all laugh together!

Anyway, the reason I've always set so many resolutions is that I've never particularly liked myself. So every year when Jools Holland's Hootenanny has rung in the New Year I've used it as an excuse to chuck Old Lauren away and try to remodel myself into a nicer, healthier, less sweary New Lauren, who likes kale chips rather than actual crisps and is never too drunk or too loud. She can effortlessly throw an outfit together and look awesome and who always, always has good hair.

This year I don't want that. I'm so exhausted from wanting that. New Lauren doesn't exist, and constantly chasing that fantasy is a waste of my time. I'm 27 now, at this point I am who I am and I don't want to buy into this 'New Year New Me' bullshit anymore.

So this year instead of resolutions or goals I'm making a promise to myself to do more of the things that make me happy - travelling, reading, playing guitar, writing, going to gigs and vlogging - and less of the stuff that doesn't - worrying about things outside my control, answering bullshit emails and spending too much time on buses. And as for everything else it's either a bonus or, to put it very bluntly, it can fuck off.

Happy New Year! Let's do this!