Let's Get Real: Still Effin' Lost

Let's Get Real: Still Effin' Lost

Saturday, 22 October 2016

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11 months ago I wrote a post called Let's Get Real: I'm Lost (read it here). In that post I talked about how I was feeling after finishing university and that I really didn't know exactly what it is that I wanted to do with my life. I felt really lost, and if I'm honest, scared. Well it's been nearly a year since that post, a year I've spent thinking about nothing but what to do with my life, except now I'm a year older, I'm no closer to knowing what I want out of my life and now I'm terrified.

This is gonna sound really over dramatic but stick with me here, I'm painfully aware that I'm going to die one day, I'm also painfully aware that I have no idea when that will be and I'm really scared that I'm going to die before I've achieved all the things I want to. I think about that every single day.  But here's where things get really messed up and complicated because how can I possibly work towards anything if I don't know what I'm working towards? This is a question that has kept me up at night and still does. At this point it just feels like all I'm doing is wasting my own time and that's probably the scariest thing, because a year has just gone and I can't even tell you what I've achieved in that year. I don't know. I just feel that at 25 years old I should have my life together, at least a little bit, and I should have more of an idea of what I want and I just don't - Sidenote: should is a really horrible word! -  don't get me wrong I have taken some positive steps this year but it doesn't feel like enough.

Life is a scary old thing, and the scariest thing about it is that it ends, usually before we're ready for it. I'm really sorry that this post has been super depressing and moany. Talk about first world problems. It's something I've been thinking about for a while now, well nearly a year, and I just wanted to get it off my chest. If anyone else is going through something like this then please let me know, either by commenting below - I always reply so check back -, on twitter, or dropping me an email at lolarocknroses@gmail.com. Also check out my instagram, facebook, bloglovin', snapchat -search lolarocknroses - & pinterest for regular updates.

Love love love xxx

*Disclaimer* I do NOT own the featured image, image used for entertainment purposes only. Image via

Let's Get Real: Feeling Lost

Let's Get Real: Feeling Lost

Tuesday, 29 September 2015

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I was going to tell you all about the drugstore's greatest handcream (Garnier's Intense 7 Days Restoring Hand Cream for Dry & Chapped Hands just fyi) but I  have sat down to write today's post so many times and the words are just not coming. I have no idea what it is that I want to say. I think it's fair to say that there are some very important things in life that I'm short of, confidence and hair that doesn't make me look like Ronald McDonald for example, BUT words are not normally one of them. Lately though... I'm a bit lost. For words and just in life in general.

I finished uni about three weeks ago and I haven't got a clue what I to do. I don't even know what I want to do. And it's got to the point now where I've actually run out of diversionary tactics. Life is looming, large and terrifying, in front of me and I have no idea what to do with it. I just don't know. 

The thing is at this point there is no avoiding the question. It's everywhere I go. So, what do you want to do with your life? And the answer is I absolutely don't know. I just don't, I have no idea and that thought is TERRIFYING. It's so scary! 

In all honesty all I want to do is to get paid to go travelling and spend my time in my pyjamas, writing about make up,  surfing youtube, reading whatever I want, whenever I want and eating bad food, with occasional visits to the gym. That's what I want! That's all I want. 

We shall see.

So that's my quarter life crisis. If anyone else is experiencing something like this please let me know by commenting below, on twitter or by dropping me an email at lolarocknroses@gmail.com I really hate feeling like I'm going through this alone. 

Psst... also check out my instagram, facebook, bloglovin', snapchat - search lolarocknroses - & pinterest for updates

Love love love xxx

*Disclaimer:* I own none of the images featured, all images used for entertainment purposes only. Images Via, Via. 

Let's Get Real: The Big FAT Truth

Let's Get Real: The Big FAT Truth

Thursday, 9 April 2015

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Today I'm gonna share some incredibly personal stuff with you. A lot of this isn't something I'm particularly comfortable talking about but I felt like this was the right thing to do.

Now before we get into the super personal nitty gritty I thought I'd tell you a bit more about Let's Get Real, which is a new monthly series I'm starting where I'll be sharing my experiences and giving you my take on more sensitive issues. This week I'm talking about my weight. I've briefly talked about my weight on here before (read more about that here) but I've never really gone into details. 

So here it is. I'm overweight. And I hate it. I really hate it. I haven't always been, I didn't actually start gaining weight until I was about 13, after my adored Grandad died, but by that point I'd been told I was fat and needed to lose weight since I was 9. Yep you read that right 9! I'll be 24 in 2 weeks. Which means I've spent two thirds of my life feeling fat and hating myself because of it. And that is too long. 

I don't know about you but when someone tells me to do something I don't want to I instantly rebel. The same thing happened when I was told to lose weight instead I went in the complete opposite direction. I had a 'screw you!' kinda attitude and it only made me seek comfort in food more but in the end I was only hurting myself. 

Being overweight has shaped my entire life. My self-confidence is very low, it's something I have to work on every single day and I'm way better then I used to be but I have to work at it, it doesn't come easily to me. I have stayed in really bad relationships because I didn't believe that I was good enough for anyone else, or that anyone else would love me. I've let people treat me like absolute sh*t because I thought I deserved it. I feel uncomfortable in a lot of social situations because I feel like I'm being judged - mostly I'm not being judged by anyone other than me - and I finally decided enough was enough. 

3 weeks ago I joined Slimming World and already it has made such an incredible difference to me. Monday night was my second weigh in and in just two weeks I've lost 6.5 pounds and I feel so much better for it. I've got a bit of a way to go until I hit target but already I'm feeling more positive, I'm eating so much better, I'm more active and have a better outlook on life. I know that sounds incredibly cheesy but it's 100% true. 

For a long time food has been a source of comfort to me, if I have a bad day my first thought is to reach for the chocolate but that is starting to change. I'm beginning to feel good about the choices I make and -very slowly- I'm starting to feel good about myself too. 

Like I said this is incredibly personal to me, and honestly it's really scary to put this out there so if you don't like or disagree with what I've said please be kind. My goal with Let's Get Real isn't to offend anyone it's just to share my experiences so yeah... be nice. 

Anywho I hope that's helped anyone who is struggling with their weight and feeling down on themselves because of it. I'll be back on Sunday. Until then you can tweet me, comment below or even email me at lolarocknroses@gmail.com. I'm also on instagram, bloglovin, facebook and pinterest so check those out if you have a minute.

Enjoy the rest of your week. 

Love love love xxx