Today I'm gonna share some
incredibly personal stuff with you. A lot of this isn't something I'm
particularly comfortable talking about but I felt like this was the right thing
to do.
Now before we get into the
super personal nitty gritty I thought I'd tell you a bit more about Let's Get
Real, which is a new monthly series I'm starting where I'll be sharing my
experiences and giving you my take on more sensitive issues. This week I'm
talking about my weight. I've briefly talked about my weight on here before
(read more about that here) but I've never really gone into details.
So here it is. I'm
overweight. And I hate it. I really hate it. I haven't always been, I didn't
actually start gaining weight until I was about 13, after my adored Grandad
died, but by that point I'd been told I was fat and needed to lose weight since
I was 9. Yep you read that right 9! I'll be 24 in 2 weeks. Which means
I've spent two thirds of my life feeling fat and hating myself because of it.
And that is too long.
I don't know about you but
when someone tells me to do something I don't want to I instantly rebel. The
same thing happened when I was told to lose weight instead I went in the
complete opposite direction. I had a 'screw you!' kinda attitude and it only
made me seek comfort in food more but in the end I was only hurting
myself.
Being overweight has shaped
my entire life. My self-confidence is very low, it's something I have to work
on every single day and I'm way better then I used to be but I have to work at
it, it doesn't come easily to me. I have stayed in really bad relationships
because I didn't believe that I was good enough for anyone else, or that anyone
else would love me. I've let people treat me like absolute sh*t because I
thought I deserved it. I feel uncomfortable in a lot of social situations
because I feel like I'm being judged - mostly I'm not being judged by anyone
other than me - and I finally decided enough was enough.
3 weeks ago I joined
Slimming World and already it has made such an incredible difference to me.
Monday night was my second weigh in and in just two weeks I've lost 6.5 pounds
and I feel so much better for it. I've got a bit of a way to go until I hit target
but already I'm feeling more positive, I'm eating so much better, I'm more
active and have a better outlook on life. I know that sounds incredibly cheesy
but it's 100% true.
For a long time food has
been a source of comfort to me, if I have a bad day my first thought is to
reach for the chocolate but that is starting to change. I'm beginning to feel
good about the choices I make and -very slowly- I'm starting to feel good about
myself too.
Like I said this is
incredibly personal to me, and honestly it's really scary to put this out there
so if you don't like or disagree with what I've said please be kind. My goal
with Let's Get Real isn't to offend anyone it's just to share my experiences so
yeah... be nice.
Anywho I hope that's helped
anyone who is struggling with their weight and feeling down on themselves
because of it. I'll be back on Sunday. Until then you can tweet me, comment
below or even email me at lolarocknroses@gmail.com. I'm also
on instagram, bloglovin, facebook and pinterest so check those out if you have a
minute.
Enjoy the rest of your
week.
Love love love xxx
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