Something weird always happens in April, regular as clockwork. Every year when the clocks go forwards (or backwards, whichever) I completely lose all desire to write. I call it Spring Time writer's block, which isn't the catchiest of titles, I know. I don't know if it's the slightly warmer weather -which hasn't appeared yet so that can't be it - or the increase in pollen and the onset of hay fever - which makes my eyes swell up, gives me headaches and makes me very sleep - but every year, in April, all I want to do is curl up in a patch of sunshine - if we have it - like a cat and read. That's it, nothing else. And this year is exactly the same. So forgive my lack of blog posts, I'm lazy and sleepy (and incredibly busy!) Anywho it's April, we're a couple of weeks in now so I should probably set some goals for the month.
Chill out
It's only recently occurred to me that I work really hard. I mean, really, really hard. It's never occurred to me before that all the extra work I do outside my actual job - blogging, youtube, writing, filming, photo taking, editing, pitching, freelancing - isn't actually normal, other people don't do that. I mean, a lot of people do but a lot of people don't. What I'm trying to say is I'm not very good at doing nothing. Even when I am doing nothing and trying to relax I'm doing something OR I'm worrying about all the things I have to do. Basically, I never relax ever. So for the remainder of this month I'd like to
chill the fuck out and take the pressure off myself. I don't want to be constantly worrying about all the shit I have to do. It'll get done, it usually always does. I don't want to worry about things for the sake of worrying and I also don't want to feel guilty every time I sit down to watch Netflix or to read or listen to music, these are the things that make life great, and guilt is such a useless emotion.
Get back into the gym
Not a year goes by when this isn't a goal, I swear I'll be saying it when I'm 80. I have such a love-hate relationship with the gym. I love it once I'm there but it's the getting there that's the actual problem. It's never as hard as I think it is but I build it up until it becomes this insurmountable challenge, and I just can't bring myself to go. It's a mental battle more than anything. What makes it worse, so much worse, is that I know just how good doing regular exercise makes me feel. It has such an immediate impact on my state of mind and it makes me feel good knowing that I can do things that I didn't think I could. Knowing that I've pushed myself to work hard makes me feel amazing. It's just getting there... that's the problem.
Eat better
Again this is something I've talked about a lot on here. I've made no secret of the fact that I eat like an unsupervised 5-year old at a birthday party, just skips and sour apple chewits for me, thanks. I'm exaggerating but only just. Case in point I'm basically existing on peanut butter toast and tea at the moment, and whist I truly believe that smooth peanut butter is the Lord's work, I should definitely try to get a vegetable or two. One of the main reasons I want to eat well is that I've noticed just how much the food I eat impacts my energy levels. I know this is a totally obvious and completely ridiculous observation but seriously, I'd never noticed before. I had some pick n' mix the other and my energy levels dipped so low that I immediately wanted a nap.
What are your goals for the month? x
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